


fuzz

by sadifura



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Identity Issues, No Dialogue, vent fic based on personal issues at the moment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-18
Updated: 2016-06-18
Packaged: 2018-07-15 20:57:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7238230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadifura/pseuds/sadifura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>90 percent of the time, Charlotte wasn't sure of who she was anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	fuzz

**Author's Note:**

> im experiencing the worst loss of identity rn due to bpd and trauma dissociation and i am so empty and i feel like charlotte would know how i feel
> 
> charlotte and fire emblem belongs to the creator of fire emblem

Charlotte lays in bed.

Charlotte lays in bed, restless.

Charlotte lays in bed, thinking about her childhood memories. 

She remembered her parents, sure, and her siblings, and the fun and sometimes annoying times she shared with them. But whenever she'd think about her teenage years, her mind would draw a blank.

This is when Charlotte realized she had no actual solid memories. Sure, she remembered some things about her childhood, but everything was fuzzy, hazy.

It was all stuck in this...fuzz, she guessed.

And the more she thought about it, the more she realized that more than just her memories were stuck in a fuzz. She realized that her personality, in all honesty, was stuck in one, too.

She recalls trying to answer questions, only to fake sweetness, or brashness. She would say her true personality was brash, but was it really? At the end of the day, she realized that even the brashness she called her real self didn't exist. 

What existed, instead, was probably even scarier for everyone she knew: this complete lack of identity.  
She didn't know who she was, what she acted like, what her interests were. She could say it was hot guys with money, or bashing people's skulls in, but in reality her interests just amounted to fuzz and static.

And the fuzz and static surrounding her identity scared her the most: was she always going to be this way? Was she always going to lack a personality that all her friends, all her acquaintances, all her past lovers had? Was she always going to have this fragile identity and personality that would always change depending on whoever would show the least bit of friendship or kindness to her?

Would she always be fuzz and static?

This is what kept her lying awake at night.

Her mind and heart was fuzz and static, her memories were fuzz and static, her personality was fuzz and static.

Her entire being was fuzz and static.

**Author's Note:**

> this is all based off my experiences with a lack of identity and stable memories because i have bpd and a dissociative disorder and since charlotte's actions are so relatable i just. feel like she'd have similar problems to me


End file.
